‘Every time your name or your face pops anywhere on my screen by virtue of a post or a comment, there’s an accompanying guilt. . . . I apologise’.
Jeff is one of a kind. He sent that text as a DM on Facebook. I tend to think that such a gesture is a rarity.
Jeff has one of my writing drafts. He is meant to read the draft and provide feedback to help make the piece better. He was meant to reply to me some two weeks before the day the text came in. For excusable reasons, I am assured, he could not meet up. In fact, in the week before the one he sent the text above, another one came with similar content and tone of apology.
Funny enough, I do not remind Jeff that he has my draft for longer than expected. Though he seems to have forgotten, it is evident that he is committed to what has been entrusted to him.
Grudges can be built in my heart towards Jeff, perhaps on the basis that he doesn’t consider my draft of value; for him to have delayed so long. Total silence from Jeff would only make it worst.
Where I am headed is to see how this simple act makes for a noteworthy subject. And the point I am at is understanding that character (good character) is what makes it possible for Jeff to do such a thing. If his character was bad, it almost doesn’t matter whether I am assuming things about him or feeling bad. Empathy is what makes it possible for Jeff to acknowledge the need to reach out as he did. That attitude makes you assume the position of the next man (in your imagination) and makes you seek an answer to the question, “What could he be thinking now given this circumstance?” or “What will I need to be done by the next man if I was in his shoes?” or “What could I be in need of when in a situation such as his?”. It is empathy, a character of love, which guarantees that the answers to these questions will be sought and accompanied by corresponding actions.
Empathy makes it easier to acknowledge that I owe the next man an apology. Jeff must have empathised with me to have understood the need to offer an apology after admitting his guilt. I am now forced to empathise with him and also to understand that people also have issues demanding their attention and time, hence his inability to have responded earlier.
More empathy will make our existence more hopeful.
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