Dear Fellow,
The year is winding down. Just a few more weeks and we are done with 2022.
I have been quite sensitive to the thoughts and wanderings of my mind. One theme, among a few others, features frequently at the top of my mind. Friendship. Of its meaning, purpose, benefits, and perils.
This is merely an attempt to think through the subject. This is not an authoritative piece, but primarily a contemplation in writing.
Believe me, in writing this, I am pretty nervous; about my limitedness in thought and perhaps experience too. Whichever way, let contemplation go on, while the light is shed.
(Image source: Baylor College of Medicine)
What is friendship? Many assume this is one of those subjects that defy confinement in a box—a subject of the same category as love, hate, etc. Friendship, indeed, means different things to different folks. However, there must be a common perspective. Friendship is a means to the sustainability of being human. It is the pursuit and fulfilment of a need in every man; a man need not be alone. God said it isn’t good for man to be alone.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Read: Genesis 2:18, NIV
While Adam gave names to all the rest of God’s creations, he could not find his kind. In the naming assignment, God saw the longing of his heart and responded accordingly. (See Genesis 2:19-20.) God provided Eve; with a response to Adam’s need and a necessity to accomplish the assignment God gave to him. Friendship is a need in every man. It is a support system for life. It is a gift from God. It is an instrument of God also.
Friends are often misconstrued, from the misapplication of the word. Friends are not mere acquaintances. I know a person and we interact easily doesn’t automatically make him or her my friend. Friendship is defined by actions. Friendship is qualified by adversity. The Bible spotlights that a friend is someone who is beside you in adversity.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
Read: Proverbs 17:17, NIV
Your trying times and joyful moments show who your friend is. She isn’t qualified as a friend until she has gone through the forces toward separation and remained tethered. Friends don’t choose when to be friends. They have free ends for each other. Adversity becomes easy to bear when borne with friends. Success is sweeter when shared with friends.
“Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.”
_Cicero.
Friendship is a product of love. Love is sacrifice, selflessness, tolerance, forgiveness, patience, gentleness, self-control, encouragement, and rebuke also (1 Corinthians 13) Frienship is learning to be oneself in the reality of another fostered by love. How another’s weakness demand my strength and vice versa. Summarily, friendship is compensation for our limitedness.
“Friendship is a gift born of adversity; it is made possible by the common struggle against the world’s darkness.”
-Joseph Loconte
There is more to this subject. Here is what Jesus said:
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
_Jesus, in John 15:13, NIV
Be a friend, truly a friend.
Your LetterMan,
Tongjal, W. N.
Great piece! 👍