Ego
A review of “Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent” by Ryan Holiday
Holiday, Ryan. 2017. Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent. Bevin Way, London: Profile Books Ltd.
Dear Fellow,
Welcome to March 2024!
The year feels like we’re on a high-speed jet, right? Even so, I pray you don’t lose calm, and control of your plans, and especially, your mind.
Today’s despatch is a book review, the first for this year. And I am excited to share about my first read for the year.
The Backstory
The book Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent by Ryan Holiday was on my to-be-read (TBR) list for January 2024. I had prepared the list by the first week of December 2023, but I did not have enough money to get the book in print even in the middle of the month. Last year, I resolved to read more books in print than in electronic format. However, by the end of the year, I embraced an open mind—to read in whatever format that is readily available—but will explore as many libraries as possible to compensate for not being able to acquire more books in print.
On Tuesday, 26th December 2023, I met with Bikkos, a fellow member of Book-Troverts and Jenta-Reads Book Club (the two major book clubs in my city). Although a meeting we had talked about earlier in the month one time we met, I didn’t expect he’d be present. Lost in our conversation about books and other related matters, he pulled out this red book and asked for my pen. A few minutes later, he gave me the book and my pen. I opened it and saw my name attached to a note.
The Reading
Reading commenced on the second day of the year for me. I never had a break away from reading during the holidays. It’s just a case of old habits dying hard. The book got me hooked since I read a couple of excerpts from it on my friend’s timeline last year, and elsewhere. Ego has been a curious subject for me even—I grew up thinking it was one of the defining characteristics of the male gender. All the time it was used in a statement I came across, it was mostly addressed to my gender. So, I wanted to figure out what this defect in me was.
Ignorance discovered, Holiday helped me realise that it isn’t a gender thing. Male or female, we all have egos. I’d allow the author to define what the term is:
Now this is not a book about ego in the Freudian sense. Freud was fond of explaining the ego by way of analogy—our ego was the rider on a horse, with our unconscious drives representing the animal while the ego tried to direct them. Modern psychologists, on the other hand, use the word “egotist” to refer to someone dangerously focused on themselves and with disregard for anyone else. All these definitions are true enough but of little value outside a clinical setting.
The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition. That’s the definition this book will use. It’s that petulant child inside every person, the one that chooses getting his or her way over anything or anyone else. The need to be better than, more than, recognized for, far past any reasonable utility—that’s ego. It’s the sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounds of confidence and talent.
The Lessons
Interestingly, I learned the lessons this book would teach me even before reading it during a conversation with a friend. We were talking about the next book I intend to write. To talk about the future, we had to review the past and the present. So, we set the table for my book The University Library. In summary, he said the library book can be better than what it is. For the book in the future, he said I should not be obsessed about my story, because what is so interesting about my life that would have people in their numbers pay to hear it? At least not when I am still figuring out my life’s journey. Given that my friend has read all of Holiday’s book, it is not surprising to find that his admonition to me resembles the last paragraph of this ego book’s prologue:
It’s always nice to be made to feel special or empowered or inspired. But that’s not the aim of this book. Instead, I have tried to arrange these pages so that you might end in the same place I did when I finished writing it: that is, you will think less of yourself. I hope you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve.
The Conclusion
The book is arranged in three parts—Aspire, Success, and Failure. It shows you how ego manifests quite differently at each of these three stages of human life. To know and understand a problem before it occurs is to be better prepared to manage it when it does. Holiday’s book is a reliable resource to help you understand what problem that “petulant child” inside of you is. Read the book to be better prepared to manage him or her properly before it disgraces you for a lifetime.
I would be delighted to hear from you when you are done reading the book. Or even in the comments section of this post, if you have read the book already. Meantime, I apologise again for showing up late—the second time this year. Believe me, it is due to circumstances beyond my control. But I decided to show up, late regardless, because I think late is better than never. So, please bear with me, and make the most of this despatch until we meet again next week.
Thank you, good Fellow.
Your LetterMan,
Tongjal, W. N.
"To know and understand a problem before it occurs is to be better prepared for it when it does"...Indeed!!!
Definitely making efforts read this book in the nearest future.