Dear Fellow,
Sometimes it is hard to keep away from our devices. My attachment heightened in the past few weeks. Then an interruption came.
Grandpa passed on.
I had to travel alongside Dad; for many reasons, including Dad being the first male in the family and I being his first son. I went to my hometown, Kat-er in the Garram district of Kanke LGA, Plateau State, Nigeria on Saturday, 27th August 2022.
I spent time with my extended family, after a long while apart. I had adequate time and space—away from the bustle of city life—to reflect and think forward. This piece contains a portion of my thoughts from the experience so far.
Celebrating Heroes
I think the most recurrent outcry in the house of mourning is this: “I wish I did this or that while he or she was still alive.” I heard it from a few in the village. However, I am more concerned about the one which involves me directly. Last year, Grandpa’s children and their families gathered at his residence to celebrate his sixty-second wedding anniversary and to celebrate God’s faithfulness in his life. Among other things, Grandpa, Gizhet Tongjal Yilsu Elisha (1909-2022) was an evangelist to one of the most resistant idol-worshipping communities in Garram. He has nine children and four step-children. Of his nine children, five are female (and two of them are dead).
Until his death he never used eyeglasses; he was still able to read from his Bible and other written records. He could move without assistance, only that he was confined to his house premises atop the hills of Garam. (If you can survive the journey up and down those hills, you can be sure to pass any physical endurance test.) Before last year’s gathering, we had another in 2019. On both occasions, Dad produced brief biographies of his grandfather, Gizhet Ngotus Tongjal Bulus, and that of Grandpa. For both documents, I was the editor: Dad wrote the drafts; I compiled and proofread. In fact, I consider those projects as my entry into book interior design and publication. In the beginning, I was nonchalant about the project. The deadline I was given was extended over three months on both occasions; honestly, Dad was patient with me. Regardless, we had a momentous experience. It seems the persistence in the accomplishment of the projects, at the time, was a response to Grandpa’s departure. Insufficient funds didn’t break Dad’s commitment to the process. With prayers, commitment, trust, and ultimately God’s grace, it all came to pass. The thought lingers to this moment: What if the project was postponed until a later date, until when all we outlined was in place? Dad had to live up to his conviction that heroes have their roses while they breathe.
‘Heroes should have their roses while they breathe.’
On Witnesses
Something else startled me. I still find it funny. Before then, Grandpa’s lifetime stated above was an estimate based on logical assumptions. Dad always celebrated his birthday on the second day of September every year. He wasn’t sure even. He had always said that. A brief biography was read at Grandpa’s funeral. We needed every detail to make a wholesome piece. Eventually, we stumbled on a box Grandpa kept in safety for as long as God knows. In the box are record books and other relics including the ₦1 note used in his day. Also, we found a notebook in which he recorded all the birth dates of his children, their names, and even his wedding day. The record was clean and legible. The record reveals that Dad was born on the 24th of September 1964. I broke the news to my siblings and no one argued. We were amazed. The biography took shape with that record book in hand. Apart from God, the most reliable witness about our lives is our diary.
‘Apart from God, the most reliable witness about our lives is our diary.’
Final Thoughts
Grandpa had the opportunity to meet with his entire nuclear family before his death, and some outsiders. He apologised for wrongs and confessed forgiveness. He sensed his end had come. He insisted that his children come around immediately in the week before his death; he even asked if they preferred to come after his death. Grandpa passed on in his sleep, before dawn, on the 27th of August 2022. His legacy lives on in his children. His son has been a great Dad. Grandpa had the opportunity to right wrongs. Will I have the same? Will you? He died, convinced about eternal rest in heaven. Will I meet him there? Will you? Jesus is the Way.
Mindfully,
Tongjal, W. N.